St Aelred today

Today is the feast of St Aelred of Rievaulx. Yesterday, I visited the ruins of his old Abbey near Ampleforth with the St Patrick's School. We laid fresh flowers on the ground where his shrine used to be - behind the high altar of the Abbey church.

Fr Julian has pointed out how St Aelred is seen as a 'henchman' by some Gay communities. I would like to quote here his most famous saying taken from his "Mirror of Charity". You may see from this text why he is seen by some as an advocate of homosexuality.

"It is no small consolation in this life to have someone you can unite with you in an intimate affection and the embrace of a holy love, someone in whom your spirit can rest, to whom you can pour out your soul, to whose pleasant exchanges, as to soothing songs, you can fly in sorrow, to the dear breast of whose friendship, amidst the many troubles of the world, you can safely retire. ... A man who can shed tears with you in your worries, be happy with you when things go well, search out with you the answers to your problems, whom with the ties of charity you can lead into the depths of your heart."

This very beautiful description of friendship by St Aelred comes from an era which we could describe as the "Twelfth Century Renaissance". Not only was the Church being renewed at this time by St Francis and St Dominic, but the Cistercian Monastic movement was gradually civilising and evangelising the country districts of Europe. This more autere form of Benedictine Monasticism was ennobled in Rievaulx by its great Abbot Aelred. He sought to transform the auterity of the Cistercian life and make it more human. He emphasised the ethos of friendship in his abbey, teaching his monks to make their lives one of special care and commitment to one another. You could say that he spoke of friendship as one would speak of the evangelical counsels. This is a far cry from the aggressive monopolising of friendship by Gay culture.

Indeed, so evangelical was Aelred's leadership that there were more than five hundred monks living the Christian life at Rievaulx during his time as Abbot. We know from St Aelred's writings that he loved Christ and had a profound knowledge of Scripture. It was this love and knowledge which flowed into the community which he ruled, a community which was marked with sincere joy; the joy that comes from friendship with Christ.

St Aelred, love and friendship

Make a search of the internet search engines for St Aelred, you'll soon hit upon all sorts of strange things. You'd expect a 12th century English monk and saint, whose feast is today, to bring up some information about his life, his works, and maybe the odd image. But St Aelred seems to summon up all sorts of connections to websites of gay Christian groups, and of ethereal New Age spiritualities. The thing is, St Aelred wrote a work on friendship called "Spiritual Friendship". While you might expect the language he uses to be guarded - being a medieval monk - he is rather descriptive and intimate in his use of language. This has been taken by some people today, reading this in a contemporary context, to suggest that St Aelred conforms to the stereotypes of 'being gay'. Of course, St Aelred has no time for impurity of any sort, and is quite explicit about that. What is more interesting is that St Aelred is so into 'friendship' that he even suggests that 'God is love' can be understood as 'God is friendship'. I've never read the book myself, and shall certainly put it on my already overstretched reading list. Fr Richard asked that St Aelred be put in the list on the right as one of our patrons. He was previously in St Aelred's parish in Harrogate as Parish Priest, but it is also appropriate because of his interest in this favourite theme of ours of 'friendship'. It seems St Aelred would say that 'friendship with Christ' is expressed in our lives by 'spiritual friendship with others'. Anyway here's part of a review of St Aelred's book by Francis Phillips on the Coptic Orthodox www.theotokos.org website:

As a young man Aelred was very influenced by Cicero’s De amicitia and quotes from it admiringly in his own work; but he makes the distinction between Christian and pagan friendship very clear.

His book, divided in 3 parts, with a long gap during its composition, takes the form of a dialogue between himself and three monk-friends: at first Ivo, then much later,
Walter and Gratian. This device with its questions and responses enables the author to consider and refine what true spiritual friendship is about.

Daringly, he changes the statement ‘God is love’ to ‘God is friendship’, an ideal to which all human friendships should aspire. Those friendships which are self-serving or based on flattery or which do not seek the other’s greatest good, are rejected as false friendships, to be shunned or terminated. If friendships can be virtuous, for Aelred they can also be ‘vicious’. This is fighting talk, but he is nothing if not human, delighting in ‘companionship of soul’ – anam chara in Irish – and recognising that despite human defects, having once received a person in his friendship ‘I cannot do
otherwise than love him’. Only betrayal will ruin friendship - as Judas discovered.

But Aelred insists, following his divine Master, that love should remain even when the friendship is destroyed, for we must continue to will the ultimate good of our erstwhile friends, viz. their salvation. [...] Should we admonish our friends when we see them falling from grace? Quoting St Ambrose, the author believes ‘the wound inflicted by a friend is more tolerable than the kisses of flatterers’. Behind the spiritual friendship of two people there is always, for Aelred, ‘the sweetness of Christ Himself’ – the perfect friend who mediates the charm and consolation of our human companions.